coconut water: a haiku

coconut water

so tasty, so hydrating

summer summer swoosh

needless to say, coconut water is delicious. perhaps you can come over sometime and we will sit on the porch and dedicate a whole evening to the topic. because i can and do have long conversations about the hydrating magic power of coconut water. am i a vampire and vita coco is my blood?


all of these long conversations often have a common variable: mego potato. enjoy this small snap shot of life (me, per usual, playing devil’s advocate. don’t think for a second that this means i don’t believe in the magical solution that is coconut water):

megan: did you know: that coconut water can be injected intravenously???
it is like blood!


me: anything can be injected intravenously


megan: no. it can be injected and used in emergency situations
in times of famine and war, coconut water has been used as an intravenous fluid and saved many lives. it’s the only natural substance that can be safely injected into the human blood stream


me: what about water?
or saline solution
i'm confused by these lofty claims!


megan: it just means that if you were dying and did not have access to an iv drip with saline solution (because that has shit in it... it's not just water from a river) but you had a coconut, you could inject the coconut water into your blood and it would save you


me: if you could even break into the coconut in your weakened state!


megan: well you would have a friend do it. this is a war. people are dying and i have a machete and a coconut and i am going to save you by injecting it into your blood
sheesh. such a realist. just let me inject you
and let me think that coconut water is the magical solution it really is

touché